12/29/13
Life makes no sense sometimes. I always seem to imagine the worst case scenario in the future events of my day, week, life etc. God says it best, how does worrying add anything to my stature?
Bottom line is, I blew it. Someone was overreacting in our bible study and in my attempt to get things under control, I ended up overreacting myself. Needless to say, I wounded someone with my truth in unrighteousness (harsh) approach, someone who was already wounded enough. I did all I could to make things right and I still haven’t heard back from her. So what was I doing? Working myself into a frenzy, causing my body to tense up and act up, and causing my brain to think of nothing else for two days straight.
To top that off, someone came into our group who is great with leading out in music and playing the guitar. Because of my current unsettled mind, I assumed that I wouldn’t be able to be a part of the music planning in the future. I again imagining the worst about my future and making myself into a nervous wreck.
Then, when I thought I was loosing it for good, God came through for me. I was impressed to listen to some audio series made by Otto Koning. That being combined with some wise insights and advice from my husband and choosing to apply things I knew all along and chose to let fall by the wayside. I realized I needed to find the secret place of the Most High again, trust in Him with the unknowns and results of the present and future situations.
AS it turns out, I was not replaced with music, but instead found a talented and enthusiastic partner to join in with the music on Sabbaths. And as to the outcome of my friend that I hurt, everything that comes to mind, I just have to give it to God and pray for her, and then turn my thoughts and attentions to something else.
It’s been a stressful week, but it ended well. The middle wasn’t so good, but I believe the lessons learned outweighs the mistakes. I’m thankful for the gift of music, and how it can lift the spirit of heaviness at times better than the usual attempts of forced positive thinking, complaining prayers, and wallowing in self pity.
And God has blessed my little attempts to use my talent of singing and guitar for Him. Someone asked if I would be willing to learn their song so it can be recorded. And that same person offered to lend to me a keyboard, so I can enjoy playing and add that to our musical repertoire. God is good.
We did get to share some helpful information with some friends of ours from a DVD called No Guns For Jews as well as some information about the truth behind the Christmas holiday with the same friends, and with my Chiropractor. But I must say, I still know nothing about witnessing to people and am afraid for now I can only resort to living by example, until God shows me other ways and empowers me beyond my natural abilities. Time is so short and I believe we need to try and seize every opportunity we can to warn people, help them to see the truth, and lead them to the One who alone can help them through these times.
May God bless our feeble attempts and give us the courage, Godly boldness and wisdom we need to reach into this world of darkness, and yet to not become a part of it in an attempt to help.
Heather
About reachingupward14
Welcome :) A little about me...
I am just a simple girl with a dream of making a difference. “Lord, let me make a difference for you that is utterly disproportionate to who I am.” David Platt.
For quite some time, I have wanted to share some of the things that I have learned over the last few years. God has been laying it on my heart more and more these last weeks with a sense of urgency that time is running out. It is becoming more and more apparent that some of the things that Christ said would happen in the last days are definitely happening and more to follow I am sure.
I am grateful for the way God puts obstacles in our way to learn from. And I honestly believe it is not just for the benefit of the individual but for others who are going through or will go through similar circumstances.
Thank you for sharing in the journey God has brought me through. Where would I be without the persistence of His love fighting for me?
At one time when I was sitting in a parking lot of Super One desperately fighting against thoughts of suicide I cried out for God. I felt as if no one loved me for who I was, that they were always trying to change me because everything I am was a mistake, that no one would love me and accept me unless I was perfect.
I am not perfect, far from it. And I do not claim to be right or perfect in truth or facts or thoughts/feelings. I am not a part of a certain religion. I am just a child in all reality. But God is fast becoming my Reality. I hope you can know that no matter how imperfect you are, God can still use you if you are seeking to draw closer to Him, always. Take heart, God has a special place for you to be a part of His plan.
In the past I have read a life changing book for me called “Dancing in the Arms of God” by Connie Neal. This quote has been an inspiration when dispairing and discouraging thoughts or words seek to overwhelm me. She is commenting on the story of when Mary poured out her costly perfume in reckless abandonment on the feet of Yeshuah, Jesus and wiped His feet with her hair.
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“Mary brought her most precious treasure to pour out because of her love for Jesus. Yet when Mary poured out her treasure, she received not admiration, but criticism from those who considered themselves more practical or spiritual than she. We too can pour out that which is a precious fragrance to God: our lives. When we break our lives open and pour out the treasure of our talent, personality, and abilities “(which is given us by God) “we too may be met with criticism. We must come to accept that there will always be those who consider themselves more spiritual than we are, those who point out the flaws in our offering.“ (Including the devil.) “None of that matters. When we live our lives doing what we can do with what we have, making the most of every opportunity, God will come to our defense. He will vindicate us before the eyes of those who misjudge us and will continue to lead us to a better life. He will honor us as He honored Mary. Our part of the dance is to do what we can and continue following His lead…We have been born into slavery, but God came to free us. We may spend some time on earth wondering needlessly, but God promises to lead us to a place where we can know His love intimately, where His secure love gives us the courage to risk intimacy with others, where we can fulfill our purpose, where our dreams can come true.” Connie Neal
The following pages will contain the various Bible studies, personal devotions and journal thoughts God has laid on my heart.
URMYREFUGE 